Wat do u think?

i have a poetry contest on Tuesday...so from scale 1-10

0=bad 5.5=ok 10=great incluse decimals 2 if u want

ALSO PLEASE B HONEST.I WONT B INSULTED OR KILL U..PLEASE ADD COMMENTS A NIGHTMARE TO BEAR

THE WHITE AND GRAY CLOUDS BATTLE...

THE BOAT BEGINS TO RATTLE

THE GRAY CLOUDS SOUND VICTORY WITH A FLASH OF LIGHTNING

THE EERIE NOISES BECOME MORE FRIGHTNING

PEOPLE BEGAN TO BITE THEIR DIRTY NAILS

THE BALANCE OF THE BOAT FAILS

THE BOAT OVER TURNS

AND PEOPLE'S THROAT BEGIN TO BURN

A YELLOW LIGHTNING BOLT HITS

I FELT LIKE I WAS BREAKING TO BITS

AND THOSE WHO WERE SCREAMING

NOW HAVE THEIR EYES GLEAMING

I FELT THE WORLD DIDN'T CARE

ON THE BACK OF HEAD STOOD MY HAIR

EACH ONE STOOD FOR ALL THE SINS I'VE BEEN

EACH HIGHLIGHTED ONES REPRESENTED ALL THE DREAMS I TRIED TO REDEEM

EACH STEP I TAKE

JUST BECAME A HUGE MISTAKE

WELL THE HORROR WAS TOO MUCH TO BEAR

BUT I AWOKE REALIZING IT WAS JUST A NIGHTMARE

Wat do u think?

good a 10 for shure

Wat do u think?

add stanzas (separations between parts), get a ryming pattern, and use repetition to set a rythm. The ryming pattern is better if two lines that ryme are separated by another that is different, like this-

your content is good,

but format needs help.

i have done what i could,

and seeweed can be called kelp.

now wasn't that a beautiful poem?

Wat do u think?

i am not much of a poetry buff but i give it a 7..like i said i do not know much about poems ..i do feel like you probley put a lot of time and thought into it..congratulations and good luck

Wat do u think?

You are attempting to write in Iambic Pentameter, however you are not allowing enough syllables in in line. In other words, it needs a bit more work.

As you write keep foremost in mind

The sound and rhythm of each line.

Wat do u think?

I give it an 9 for originality.

It seems part free form poetry and part rhyming so that kind of throws me off and reduces the score to a ...

6.9

Now I am in the mood for BBQ tonight so if you can throw in something about BBQ I'll probably raise the score. :o)

I really enjoyed the poem. Thank you.

Wat do u think?

It's good...but each line doesn't have to rhyme. If you try to make each line rhyme, it can sound forced and formulaic. As for the poem itself, why does it end with you waking up and discovering it was nightmare? That's a little played out, eh? You can come up with something original.

Wat do u think?

its not free style it completly ryhmes......

well id give it a 9.1